It was on the good ship Venus
   By Christ ya shoulda seen us
   The figurehead was a whore in bed
   And the mast a mammoth penis
  
   The captain of this rugger
   He was a dirty bugger
   He wasn't fit to shovel shit
   From one place to another
  
   Friggin' in the riggin'
   Coz there's fuck all else to do
  
   The first mate's name was Morgan
   By Christ he was a gorgon
   Ten times a day he'd stop and play
   With his fuckin' organ
  
   The first mate's name was Cooper
   By Christ he was a trooper
   He jerked and jerked until he worked
   Himself into a stupor
  
   The second mate was Andy
   By Christ he was a dandy
   Till they crushed his cock on a jagged rock
   For cumming in the brandy
  
   The cabin boy was Flipper
   He was a fuckin' nipper
   He stuffed his ass with broken glass
   And circumcised the skipper
  
   The Captain's wife was Mabel
   To fuck she was not able
   So the dirty shits, they nailed her tits
   Across the barroom table
  
   The Captain had a daughter
   Who fell in deep sea water
   And by her squeals we knew the eels
   Had found 'er sexual quarters